Look to a GPz500S, some of them might even have moved into the cheapo classic bracket by now. They are all cheap to buy, bombproof, economical, fast enough and female friendly, (low seat,  lowish c od g etc) Nice bike.

I had one, traded it in for the Fazer after 3 years mainly because of the mid-range buzz that gave my gentleman's parts pins and needles.
Definitely "female-friendly"... it's a 60bhp vibrator.
Still group 8 insurance though, so may not help in this instance.

A church is "The house of God".

So we can photograph anything if we claim an imaginary friend lives there?

Your battery/alternator tester is a simplified voltmeter and, from those results, I don't think you need to worry about replacing the battery.
However, the whole of the wiring sounds as if it needs a thorough going over.
Disconnect the battery before you start. Then once you've sorted out the handlebar switchgear, lift the tank and open the connector housing. Unplug each of the connectors in turn. Check for signs of overheating, clean, retighten any spades that feel loose and finally spray with WD40 to keep corrosion at bay.
Check connections to the starter relay etc. are tight and don't forget the earthy side that goes to the frame and engine. Finally reconnect the battery and grease the terminals with battery grease/Vaseline.
That should chase the electrical gremlins away.
At least Yamaha use decent quality wiring, both the Kawasakis I previously owned suffered from porous insulation and I had to replace entire lengths of cable because the copper had turned to green paste inside them.

Quote from: Fazerider on 14 February 2012, 09:42:56 am

The only other relay in the system is the starter relay and that doesn't activate until you hit the button so you wouldn't normally hear it as the click is drowned out by the sound of the engine turning over.

Point being, with the starter relay is that when the battery is low, it reaches a stage where it doesn't hold the relay open properly, so you hear (loud and clear), the relay cycling, as described by Mr Mouse just over half way down his post.

I guess you mean "closed" rather than "open".

And only if you're pressing the starter button at the time. Since Mobile Mouse mentioned, near the top of his post, that he had previously heard this chatter while the bike was running and he was putting his gloves on, it seemed unlikely that the starter relay is involved. Even if an intermittent short was causing the starter relay to be activated, I'd expect the whirr of the motor to be more audible than the relay clicking.

I had a similar problem recently. After lifting the tank I discovered the nut securing the throttle return cable on the carb bank had become loose and the cable outer had unseated itself, so maybe the same thing's happened to yours.
And, as Bracechenko says, check the cables are lubricated.

If there's still enough of the head left to get some torque with a fresh allen key, try heating the wheel up. I did this by propping it on bricks 10" above a low flame on the gas hob for 20 minutes or so. I insulated the seal for the wheel bearing with by taping over with a few layers of newspaper to prevent damage to the rubber. You just need to get it hot enough to be uncomfortable to touch say 50 to 60ºC, any loctite type material will soften and the alloy will expand more than the steel of the bolt making it a looser fit.

Other options are: weld a length of steel to the remains of each head, though this could risk damage to the alloy as localised heating might be too extreme... or simply drill the heads off, lift the old disc off and hope that once the tension is off the bolt the remains will respond to a good soaking in WD40 (or whatever your preferred penetrating oil may be) and the bodger's favourite tool: the mole grip.

There are quite a few things to move out of the way, but it's a fairly straightforward job.
From memory:

Tank off, battery out, loosen the carb inlet clamps, undo the bolts that hold the airbox and slide that backwards.
Undo the bolts holding the bar that supports the coils and fuel pump, sliding that back gives sufficient access to undo the throttle cables and get the coolant hoses off the carbs.
Wriggling the old carbs out of the inlet rubbers is a bit fiddly, and persuading the new ones back in always seems much harder... a bit of grease around the outlets of the new carbs helps a lot.
It takes me about 4 hours to do it, but I work slowly... someone who does it for a job would probably only need half that.

If the fuel pump ticks for a few seconds and then stops when you switch the ignition on you can probably eliminate that as the cause of the problem, it means it's pumping fuel OK and the back pressure halts the pump once the carb float valves are closed.
If it runs fine to start with and then gets breathless and dies within a few miles, chances are the carbs are icing. Check the water path through the carbs. With the tank off you should be able to unplug the two thin hoses. If you attach a bit of spare hose you should be able to blow through the whole set... if you can't you'll probably have to take them off the bike to determine where the blockage is and clear it.

Ah well, someone's going to get a bargain if you're only asking £400 for it.
Mine's a fair bit scruffier and I still enjoy riding it... I regard the mangled fairing and corroded fork bottoms as character.

A HOME MADE LOBOTOMY KIT?

Dunno about that... looks like it'd do a nifty job of puncturing the pilot's kidneys in the event of a shunt though.

Not something I've done myself, but the 12V dual circuit LEDs are a direct replacement for the 5/21W filament lamps. No relays required.

Turning the headlights on after you've started the engine would seem the obvious solution.. or am I missing something?

@ Limax2
Is that right? My understanding was that the measurement of the shaft diameter was to determine whether it was still useable after loose nuts/sprockets had battered the thread, not that there was a problem with some of them being manufactured undersized.