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Messages - DILLIGAFF
26
« on: 02 January 2019, 10:43:17 am »
and from personal experience
SOLDERING IRON................A tool used to determine the heat resistance of any expensive items left on the workbench.
ELECTRIC HAND HELD DRILL................A useful tool for locating concealed wiring, plumbing or gas pipes.
TOOL BOX...................... An expensive and often lockable container which houses a vast array of valuable tools and equipment, but excludes the tool you need, or if it is in the box hides the key.
TROLLEY JACK..................A useful device for mangling fragile floor cills and exhaust systems.
27
« on: 05 December 2018, 10:59:50 am »
Filled my tank @ £1.18/L yesterday. Last fill up was £1.32/L. 
28
« on: 28 November 2018, 10:58:51 am »
Bit off topic I know but worth a try.
I used to rep for a water filter company and found some samples in my garage. New, boxed and unused.1. Double under counter domestic filter with all fixtures and sink top tap.2. Industrial Nitrate filter, maybe suitable for aquariums or home brew????
Retailed at around £200 each, any offer considered.
If interested please message me and I can provide pics etc.
29
« on: 28 November 2018, 10:50:39 am »
Got my car out of the garage and, as ever, first removed my very expensive electric bike and stood it against the fence. Out for a few hours and when I came home realised I FORGOT TO PUT THE BIKE AWAY !!!!!!Very fortunately it was still there, that made me feel happy  
30
« on: 24 November 2018, 10:14:14 am »
So, not just me then. I was diagnosed with Crohns disease a while back. Had some really close calls on the loo dash and one time had to sneak into a field and "compost" the hedge. Was dreading a dog walker appearing as I knew there was no way I could stop! On one memorable house visit to flog a nice couple some new windows I got the dreaded two minute warning. I casually asked if I could use the bathroom while they were deciding on styles and headed for the stairs. Imagine my horror when they told me to use the cloakroom by the front door, about 20 feet from where they were sitting. Needs must and I tried as best as I could to have a quiet shit and flushed the loo at the same time. In an effort to make it appear I only had a piss I was in and out as quick as possible. Back at the table, considerably relieved, the husband suddenly exclaimed................. "What's that awful smell?" I stuck my head down and fortunately they blamed the cat whose puzzled arse was kicked out the back door.
31
« on: 22 November 2018, 10:51:46 am »
I am now used to waking up to 3 times a night for a pee, and normily a hearty fart.Though it is annoying, its better than not waking up !!!! 
32
« on: 22 November 2018, 10:46:31 am »
Since discovering CYBER ROCK on DAB, I've listened to little else. Great music AND no adverts.
35
« on: 22 July 2018, 08:49:40 am »
A guy takes his reluctant married friend out for a few beers. The friend says "Listen. Don't get me pissed cos last time I threw up all down my shirt and the wife gave me such a bollocking when I got home"
Inevitably it turns into a session and, also inevitably, the friend barfs up all down his shirt again.
"Now look at the messsh I'm in, hows am I gonna exshplain thish to the wife?"
Easy says his mate. Just put a ten pound note in your shirt pocket and say it was the bloke standing next to you at the bar and he gave you a tenner to have your shirt cleaned.
All goes well till he staggers back home and gives his story to the missus.
She is very sceptical and checks his shirt pocket for the money only to find a £20 note. "So how do you explain this?" she demands.
"Eashy" says the shame faced hubby....................................... "He shit me pants as well"
36
« on: 22 July 2018, 08:40:45 am »
While working Shepperton Lock and old style red Fazer arrived and I gave the rider "the Foccer salute"
He looked at me like I was mad.
Apparently not a member.
37
« on: 09 July 2018, 10:21:33 am »
Thanks Bob, that worked. Been unable to login for 2 weeks! 
38
« on: 19 June 2018, 09:49:26 am »
I found my old waterproofs in the back of a cupboard and will never wear them again as I sold the bike.
They are quilted inside for warmth and in reasonable used condition, size L, blue and grey. Dungaree and jacket two piece.Would suit despatch rider or maybe off road mudder?
Any offers???
Please email me DerekBenelisha@hotmail.com. I live just South of London.
39
« on: 17 June 2018, 09:51:04 am »
Thanks for your help fellas.
40
« on: 16 June 2018, 09:35:19 am »
I seem to remember some foccer on here saying that he got a good deal on a hotel and parking at Gatwick?
As I have an early flight my cunning plan is to arrive the night before, have a few leisurely beers, stay the night and then leave my car at the Hotel for the week.
Any recommendations?
41
« on: 16 June 2018, 09:32:24 am »
Sorry to hear this. I agree that taxi drivers, who should be among the safest and most expert drivers on the road, are the worst.
42
« on: 11 June 2018, 08:32:41 am »
Check out the videos of "Police vs moped" on Youtube. They dont all get away. 
43
« on: 04 June 2018, 09:05:53 am »
44
« on: 03 June 2018, 09:03:51 am »
Dea-ville...............................sorry to disappoint you. Yes I am that guy with a cap on to prevent my wrinkly old bald head from sunburn.May I refer you to my site name? YamFaz................... its the 2.0 SPORT NAV and so far it has been fantastic fun. Don't think you could fit a spare in the boot as they are 17" profiles but you can buy a luggage rack and carry a spare on that. It does come with an emergency can of puncture repair, but it also came with 3 years free RAC breakdown cover, so, DILLIGAFF.I also originally wanted the RF but I suggest you test drive both. 
45
« on: 02 June 2018, 09:22:40 am »
Well after selling my beloved Fazer some years back I have now replaced it with this penis extension..... 
46
« on: 06 May 2018, 09:50:02 am »
47
« on: 07 April 2018, 10:11:59 am »
Also rememebr it is a NO CLAIMS bonus. Not a NO BLAME bonus.
48
« on: 07 April 2018, 10:07:00 am »
A few helpful memories from my Fazer days.
First gear is and always will be very clunky. Make sure the bike is in neatral before trying to start, caught me out many times.
Similarly, make sure the power off swith on the handlebars is ON !
Get in the habit of cancelling your indicator after the turn.
Make sure the kick stand is fully down before getting off the bike. That one got me once. Also, as I remember it, you can't start the bike with the stand down.
Find your nearest BIKE-SAFE run by the Police. A very worthwhile day.
Happy Foccing.
49
« on: 06 April 2018, 11:14:24 am »
UPDATE............... just received an email from old insurers in response to my cancellation, "We have checked our system and found a better price of £193"
Lick it, stick it and mail it to someone who gives a FOC.
50
« on: 04 April 2018, 11:14:52 am »
52 years NCB
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