Fazer Owners Club - Unofficial
General => General => Topic started by: DILLIGAFF on 06 September 2017, 10:09:53 am
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Hi foccers. I was thinking recently how strange it is that some motorists make the same mistakes every day and never learn to improve.
So, I started a list of mistakes I corrected 50 years ago.
It pays dividends to clean your wing mirrors BEFORE setting off.
It is unnecessary to brake before every bend, gap, tree, oncoming vehicle and does nothing except confuse the guy behind you.
NEVER have anything loose on the floor that can roll under the brake pedal ( brown pants moment!!!)
Indicators go one way for left and the other way for right. This never changes.
Indicators are, as they imply, an indication of intended movement so never use them too early or leave them on after a turn.
If you pull on the indicator stalk when using, IT FLASHES THE HEADLIGHTS, so don't be surprised when an oncoming motorist says thankyou and turns in your path!!!
The gear shift is ALWAYS where you left it so there is no need to look down at it before every shift.
Your car is a lot faster with the handbrake OFF.
You DO need to know what is behind you ( saved me many a speeding ticket)
ALWAYS check your mirrors before turning or opening the door. Cyclists will be very happy to re-educate you on this point.
On modern cars the position of the filler cap is indicated on the fuel gauge.
White lines are there for a reason and inform you of upcoming road hazards if you take a few minutes to learn the code.
While I am on the code, read and understand The Highway Code. It contains years of hard learned wisdom.
In slow moving traffic, if you need to keep braking, you are too close to the vehicle in front.
Generally speaking, if you need to brake while going uphill, you are doing it wrong.
Generally speaking, if you need to brake excessively while going downhill, you are in the wrong gear.
Expect the unexpected.
Watch the traffic ahead for any changes in speed or position.
Watch oncoming traffic. Are they going to overtake? Is there a hazard (cyclist) which requires them to pull out etc?
Dip your headlights for oncoming traffic at night and turn your bloody rear fog light off when visibility improves.
Be PROACTIVE rather than reactive.
Remember................ CORRECT SPEED, CORRECT POSITION, CORRECT GEAR and CORRECT ATTITUDE.
I am sure you will add to or even dispute some of these but I am proud of the fact that in 50 years of motoring I have never caused nor been involved in a serious accident.
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I am sure you will add to or even dispute some of these but I am proud of the fact that in 50 years of motoring I have never caused nor been involved in a serious accident.
you sir, are simply not trying hard enough!
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All common sense. :thumbup
Road sense (anticipating other road users actions), plus defensive driving, are probably the only critical "skills" developed (as a car driver), that I've been able to transfer over to riding motorcycles.
On the/a motorcycle, my expectations of other road users then completely changes. :eek
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I remember when I had my first car and collected it after it's first ever service.
I couldn't believe what a difference it made! The brakes and accelerator had become so much more responsive. :eek It took me a good few miles to realise the mechanic had just moved my seat forward! :groan
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Here are few more car tips:
When you smoke in the car don't wear short pants.
If you do a hooker avoid using the front seat if the car is on a hill. The hooker will kick the gear in neutral.
If you hit an ice patch on the motorway in the winter there is not much you can do. Gentle with the steering wheel after few spins the car will stop eventually.
Never go in the middle of a nowhere without a lady. If your alternator/pump belt brakes in the middle of nowhere use the lady tights as a replacement belt.
Never drink drive. If you do don't ride with 10mph in the night. If a cop stop you and drop your license on the floor, the cop is so drunk he can't get the license - help him. You'll be fine.
If you get out of disco in 2am and try to drive the car backwards to show off to your friends - you probably will hit a barrier in front of cops so drunk that they will don't mind it.
If you are drunk and traveling on the bonnet of a car hold on tight. Same rule is valid for the car roof.
I also am proud of the fact that in 40 years of motoring I have never caused nor been involved in a serious accident :lol
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On modern cars the position of the filler cap is indicated on the fuel gauge.
Is it??? I never knew that.... maybe my car's aren't modern enough, 😞
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On modern cars the position of the filler cap is indicated on the fuel gauge.
Is it??? I never knew that.... maybe my car's aren't modern enough, 😞
Here's an example from my car, the little arrow next to the fuel pump points to which side the filler cap is on 👍
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On modern cars the position of the filler cap is indicated on the fuel gauge.
Is it??? I never knew that.... maybe my car's aren't modern enough, 😞
Here's an example from my car, the little arrow next to the fuel pump points to which side the filler cap is on 👍
Or the petrol pump symbol will have the nozzle on the left or right,again to indicate which side the fuel flaps on.Didn't matter on my old Mk3 Zodiac as the filler was behind the number plate,slap bang in the middle of the car,same goes for a 1970 Mustang I had back in the day.
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Thing I learnt from my first car was it didn't hurt so much when you crashed a car, as when you had a spill on a bike.
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On modern cars the position of the filler cap is indicated on the fuel gauge.
Is it??? I never knew that.... maybe my car's aren't modern enough, 😞
Here's an example from my car, the little arrow next to the fuel pump points to which side the filler cap is on 👍
Another tip is to make note of where the manufacturer has cut a sodding big hole in one of the rear wings :pokefun
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Thing I learnt from my first car was it didn't hurt so much when you crashed a car, as when you had a spill on a bike.
....although that feeling, a couple of seconds before impact, when YOU KNOW you just fcuked up!!!.... is just as stomach churning in the car, as it is on a Bike! :(
(Even if, it's likely to hurt much more on the bike).
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On modern cars the position of the filler cap is indicated on the fuel gauge.
Is it??? I never knew that.... maybe my car's aren't modern enough, 😞
Here's an example from my car, the little arrow next to the fuel pump points to which side the filler cap is on 👍
Another tip is to make note of where the manufacturer has cut a sodding big hole in one of the rear wings :pokefun
Dont matter anyway because the hose will reach
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How about
"sitting in the back seat trying to pick her locks"
learnt that in my first car.
Extra points for naming the song.
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Remembering that the accelerator isn't the brake pedal! :lol
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My first car taught me how to fill rust holes and how to spray waxoil in the sills
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How about
"sitting in the back seat trying to pick her locks"
learnt that in my first car.
Extra points for naming the song.
How about Pink Floyd....Run like Hell.
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I learnt never to leave a lump hammer on the car roof, doesn't half make you jump when you brake at the end of the street and it flies off onto the bonnet.
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How about
"sitting in the back seat trying to pick her locks"
learnt that in my first car.
Extra points for naming the song.
You obviously weren't sent back to mama in a cardboard box :lol
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and for those who have never seen it...............
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vupgBykQnko (http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vupgBykQnko)
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How about
"sitting in the back seat trying to pick her locks"
learnt that in my first car.
Extra points for naming the song.
How about Pink Floyd....Run like Hell.
:) well done
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How about
"sitting in the back seat trying to pick her locks"
learnt that in my first car.
Extra points for naming the song.
You obviously weren't sent back to mama in a cardboard box :lol
Not telling :rolleyes
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Right to Left. ABC!
Accelerator, Brake, Clutch.
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love this thread :lol
just looked at my petrol sign and well, you never :)
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And never forget MIRROR, SIGNAL, MANOEUVRE.
Though more commonly seen, even after years of driving, is manoeuvre, signal, no mirror.
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You meant to type "Though more commonly seen, even after years of driving, is manoeuvre,
signal, no mirror." especially from the likes of BMW's........ :lol
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A useful tip for drivers of cars or motorcycles is the more white paint there is on the road the bigger the foccing hazard is it is warning you of.
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A useful tip for drivers of cars or motorcycles is the more white paint there is on the road the bigger the foccing hazard is it is warning you of.
It surprises me the number of drivers/riders who don't realise that the gap between the centre lines close up and the lines get longer on the approach to a hazard.
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I know its off topic but the thing ive learnt with my first bike ( over last 6 months) is the amount of crap dangerous or just inconsiderate car drivers, the good ones Ive observed are probably just bikers in cars I always acknowledge the cars that you can tell are biker considerate, then I put the hammer down ha ha. well treat it like a chainsaw good advice :lol
but going back on topic for me in 1990 was don't fall asleep at the wheel :z ie pull over, fence post thru windscreen car looked like a tank, lol, luckily no injuries to any 3rd parties.
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I know its off topic but the thing ive learnt with my first bike ( over last 6 months) is the amount of crap dangerous or just inconsiderate car drivers, the good ones Ive observed are probably just bikers in cars I always acknowledge the cars that you can tell are biker considerate, then I put the hammer down ha ha. well treat it like a chainsaw good advice :lol
Car drivers are always seen as the enemy and there are some out there who deserve to be but there are a lot of motorcyclists who are their own worst enemy, by the way they ride. I'm sure a lot of them now see defensive riding as a weakness.
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I know its off topic but the thing ive learnt with my first bike ( over last 6 months) is the amount of crap dangerous or just inconsiderate car drivers, the good ones Ive observed are probably just bikers in cars I always acknowledge the cars that you can tell are biker considerate, then I put the hammer down ha ha. well treat it like a chainsaw good advice :lol
but going back on topic for me in 1990 was don't fall asleep at the wheel :z ie pull over, fence post thru windscreen car looked like a tank, lol, luckily no injuries to any 3rd parties.
Sounds like you had a very lucky escape with the post through the screen, people have been javalined through the chest and seat back by that happening.
My falling asleep believe it or not was on a BSA Bantam 175cc in 1965. I was working as an apprentice bricklayer and saved up £17 to buy the bike, it needed stuff doing to it but was rideable, I was so excited about having the bike and being able to work on it that I stayed up two nights running working on the bike in the shed and working on the building site through the day, I had gone about 60 odd hours without sleep,
it's now early on a Saturday morning in 1965, bright sunny day bike looking good, rust removed from the chrome wheel rims and handle bars chain adjusted and lubed, plug and carb cleaned (Amal Monoblock) red paintwork scrubbed and polished, leopard skin elaticated plastic seat cover in place, you get the picture. Leg over the seat and I'm off to ride to Guildford, about 16 miles, I could not get what I needed at Pascals Motorcycles of Guildford so back on the old Billy Bantam heading across the Hogs Back to Farnham, I recall seeing the set of traffic lights on the bridge about 300 or 400 yards ahead of me just outside Farnham the next thing I knew was being about 15 foot from a stopped Morris Countryman and I was still doing about 55 mph (flat out) with cars crossing the bridge towards me I yanked every thing on and tried to go up the inside of the Morris, I punched the backlights out of the near side of the car with my fist wrapped over the front brake lever, ended up scattered up the road and within 45 minutes found myself back in Guildford again this time in the A & E ward. I sometimes think to myself how the fuck did I managed to fall asleep ridding a motorcycle, no crash helmet or gloves, finances did not stretch to that and it wasn't required by law.
Sleep deprivation is a powerful force.
To this day I still have a small piece of glass in one fingers and slight impairment of movement in that hand.
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it was total shit--that's about all I can say that I learned about my first car.
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My first car.... got written off about a month after buying it, by a guy driving OUT of a pub car park, using the 'ENTRANCE' road (not the Exit, plus against the flow of traffic). Plus he had the nerve to ask me if I had been drinking! :lol
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And never forget MIRROR, SIGNAL, MANOEUVRE.
Though more commonly seen, even after years of driving, is manoeuvre, signal, no mirror.
and if your been riding long enough its
Mirror, signal, mirror, manouvre
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And never forget MIRROR, SIGNAL, MANOEUVRE.
Though more commonly seen, even after years of driving, is manoeuvre, signal, no mirror.
and if your been riding long enough its
Mirror, signal, mirror, manouvre
No shoulder checks? ("Lifesaver").
Mirror, signal + then take up correct position in road, lifesaver over shoulder, manoeuvre.
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Not a good idea to try shagging your bird in an Isetta bubble car. The battery terminals arc across the springs under the seat.
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Not a good idea to try shagging your bird in an Isetta bubble car. The battery terminals arc across the springs under the seat.
Luckily nobody who drove an Isetta Bubble car had a girlfriend to try it with 😂😂
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Not a good idea to try shagging your bird in an Isetta bubble car. The battery terminals arc across the springs under the seat.
Luckily nobody who drove an Isetta Bubble car had a girlfriend to try it with 😂😂
:thumbup :rollin very good
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Oh sad bastard that I am I did , I was never lucky with that girl. Only time I have ever broken a bone on a motor bike was with her.
Triumph Bonnie her up front bent forward over the tank, me banging away, arse going like a fiddlers elbow, on the vingegar strokes and the fecking thing came off the centre stand, broke me fecking ankle. :(
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Oh sad bastard that I am I did , I was never lucky with that girl. Only time I have ever broken a bone on a motor bike was with her.
Triumph Bonnie her up front bent forward over the tank, me banging away, arse going like a fiddlers elbow, on the vingegar strokes and the fecking thing came off the centre stand, broke me fecking ankle. :(
😂🤣😂🤣😂 not scared to share I see then Lew haha
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here is another, whilst taking the slip road onto the m5 in a old lorry don't open your cuppa soup, because the gearstick might just knock it out of your hands all over your nuts . painfull. and hard to undress lol.