Date: 28-03-24  Time: 09:58 am

Author Topic: A funny to start the week...  (Read 5711 times)

Grahamm

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A funny to start the week...
« on: 09 October 2011, 11:30:24 pm »
An Irishman goes for a job on a building site.

The foreman says, "Can you brew tea?"

The Irishman says, "Yes."

"Good. Can you drive a fork lift?"

The Irishman looks at him and says,

"Just how bloody big is the teapot?"

pitternator

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Re: A funny to start the week...
« Reply #1 on: 10 October 2011, 06:54:41 am »
sounds like it could just be big enuff fer me then !    :D

Looney tune

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Re: A funny to start the week...
« Reply #2 on: 10 October 2011, 08:34:49 am »
A fat woman walks by a pet shop and a parrot shouts '' oi you '', she says '' what '', the parrot shouts '' you're a fat ugly c*^t'' she storms away raging. The next day it happens again so she goes in and tells the owner if it happens again she's going to the police. Next morning she swaggers by and the parrot shouts ''oi you'', she says ''what'', the parrot shouts '' you fucking no what''.
Better to stand and look a fool than speak and prove it !
If it aint broke, I'll fix it till it is !!

wraith600

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Re: A funny to start the week...
« Reply #3 on: 10 October 2011, 07:06:23 pm »
 :rollin :rollin
follow me and ile show you were to crash

http://foc-u.co.uk/index.php/topic,484.msg2583.html#msg2583

alan09

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Re: A funny to start the week...
« Reply #4 on: 10 October 2011, 08:32:29 pm »
The priest at Our Holly Father Primary School let the kids shave his hair for charity,
He said at first it felt strange but it did make his cock look bigger.

mickdel

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Re: A funny to start the week...
« Reply #5 on: 12 October 2011, 12:18:01 pm »

As an Irishman,  I find this offensive Grahamm.  >:      Irish jokes went out of fashion a long time ago.   Would you tell it to an Irishman face to face?

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Looney tune

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Re: A funny to start the week...
« Reply #6 on: 12 October 2011, 01:09:35 pm »
Nowt to do with me but, jokes are jokes and there is always some one or something getting the piss taken about them. If someone cracks a joke about a Scot or Scotland my response is to reply with a joke or something funny about the person telling the joke.
 
Arthur told his wife he kept getting a burning sensation in his anus and didn't know what it was.
She said ''ring sting'', he said ''what the fuck will he know''
 
 
Better to stand and look a fool than speak and prove it !
If it aint broke, I'll fix it till it is !!

mickdel

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Re: A funny to start the week...
« Reply #7 on: 12 October 2011, 02:24:49 pm »
Nowt to do with me but, jokes are jokes and there is always some one or something getting the piss taken about them. If someone cracks a joke about a Scot or Scotland my response is to reply with a joke or something funny about the person telling the joke.


I hear what you're saying Looney, but I, and every Irishman I know, subscribe to the views in the wikipedia entry below.   Johy Lydon's autobiography wasn't called "No Blacks, No Irish" because he liked the sound of it.  It was taken from a sign common in London in clubs, and also Landlord adverts up until the late 60s and early 70s.


The wiki article is below :_


"...however, the Irish joke has more sinister origins. The Irish joke originates in the simian portrayal of Irish people in English comic magazines of the mid-late 19th century - depicting the Irish as stupid apes given to agrarian and alcohol-fuelled violence against their benevolent and tolerant English masters.
 Punch magazine was a particular notorious purveyor of this type of comedy. In the context of the 'Laissez Faire' effective genocide of the Great Famine and the following mass displacement of the following three decades, a great many Irish view the Irish joke as, at best, offensive and, at worst, as similar to "nigger" jokes against negroes or "gas oven" humour targetted at Jews.


 All these forms of humour have, at their core, the debasement of their subjects to the point of dehumanising them so that malevolent acts against them are less offensive - or even justifiable.
It can only be assumed that the Irish joke has survived the era of political correctness as a consequence of the fact that the Irish are white (i.e. not black) and that the successful English propoganda of the 1840s-1930s has created a global acceptance that the Famine was simply a tragedy or Act of God (and not the subject of deliberate genocide in the way that the Jews were in 1930s-40s Germany and its annexes.

This, of course,glosses over the fact that Ireland of the 1840s had adequate food for its population but that its grain was being sold to England and the US, or being shipped to Australia to feed England's new colonies and convict settlements there - forcing the  majority of the dispossessed native Irish to live off a single crop of potatoes grown on miniscule plots of land that were subdivided on every succession (Catholics were denied primogeniture succession rights under the anti-Catholic Penal Laws).


Some hold that Irish jokes have recently been reclaimed by the Irish themselves and reversed to ridicule the (usually English) joke teller, e.g.
 Q: Why are Irish jokes so simplistic?A: So Englishmen can understand them.

 or


 A Kerryman emigrated from Ireland to England, thereby increasing the average IQ of both countries. (A reference to Will Rogers phenomenon, which refers to a Kerryman as even less smart than an average Irishman but the real joke is that it implies an Englishman is even less intelligent.) This "attempt" to turn the tables may be a reaction to the fact the Black and Jew jokes are no longer acceptable - but Irish jokes are still deemed acceptable in England and its former colonies of USA, Canada and Australia/New Zealand."


Now you can get an idea why the great majority of  Irish people find "Irish jokes" deeply offensive.     

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alan sherman

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Re: A funny to start the week...
« Reply #8 on: 12 October 2011, 04:10:40 pm »
I thought the funny bit was that is was the Irish guy coming back with an excellent one liner to the first question which was pretty stupid.

Grahamm

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Re: A funny to start the week...
« Reply #9 on: 13 October 2011, 01:17:55 am »
As an Irishman,  I find this offensive Grahamm.  >:      Irish jokes went out of fashion a long time ago.   Would you tell it to an Irishman face to face?

Depends, does he a) have a chip on his shoulder or b) a sense of humour and an understanding that it's nothing personal?

Tell you what, you post a stereotypical English joke and we'll find out which of those two categories I fall into...

mickdel

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Re: A funny to start the week...
« Reply #10 on: 13 October 2011, 10:27:31 am »
As an Irishman,  I find this offensive Grahamm.  >:      Irish jokes went out of fashion a long time ago.   Would you tell it to an Irishman face to face?

Depends, does he a) have a chip on his shoulder or b) a sense of humour and an understanding that it's nothing personal?

Tell you what, you post a stereotypical English joke and we'll find out which of those two categories I fall into...

That's the point.   There aren't any stereotypical English jokes.   Do you also tell "Paki, Wog, Jew and Queer jokes" ?     Very brave man behind a keyboard Grahamm.   Tell an Irish joke to my face if we ever meet at a Foc-U gathering,  and I'll show you exactly how much of a sense of humour I have about this subject.   
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richfzs

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Re: A funny to start the week...
« Reply #11 on: 13 October 2011, 04:40:51 pm »
did you ever laugh at Allo Allo mick?

John Silva

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Re: A funny to start the week...
« Reply #12 on: 13 October 2011, 05:37:11 pm »
 :\ But can we still joke about hornets or will that be classed as racists.

Biking is about the Journey NOT the Destination...

Grahamm

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Re: A funny to start the week...
« Reply #13 on: 13 October 2011, 05:39:28 pm »
That's the point.   There aren't any stereotypical English jokes.   

Only because the "stereotypical Englishman" jokes tend to break down into stereotypical Geordie, Scouser, Posh Bird, Upper-Class Bloke, Working Man, Chav, Essex Girl, West Country Yokel etc etc etc...

Quote
Do you also tell "Paki, Wog, Jew and Queer jokes" ?

Yes, should I be Politically Correct and refrain from doing so? If so, should Chris Rock stop telling Nigger jokes? Should Rabbi Jackie Mason stop telling Jewish jokes? Should gays I know stop telling Queer jokes? Have you never told an Irish joke yourself? Or is it that *you* are allowed to because "I'm one of them..."? Have you *never* laughed at *any* stereotype-based joke because they're all offensive, or is it only ones that you find personally offensive?

Quote
Very brave man behind a keyboard Grahamm.   Tell an Irish joke to my face if we ever meet at a Foc-U gathering,  and I'll show you exactly how much of a sense of humour I have about this subject.   

So because you don't like a joke, you're apparently threatening someone with physical violence?

My mistake, you clearly have a balanced personality: A chip on *BOTH* shoulders!

SEPTIKANGEL

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Re: A funny to start the week...
« Reply #14 on: 13 October 2011, 06:01:07 pm »
As a 'McDonough' with my ancestorial roots originating from County Armagh, I meself live in Liverpool.
I'm a Scouser now you see and subject of many a piss take, so all I gotta say to youse all is.......
Calm down, calm down!
 :rolleyes
 
 
 
 
IF IT AIN'T BROKE, FIX IT 'TILL IT IS.

mickdel

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Re: A funny to start the week...
« Reply #15 on: 15 October 2011, 09:00:04 pm »
That's the point.   There aren't any stereotypical English jokes.   

Only because the "stereotypical Englishman" jokes tend to break down into stereotypical Geordie, Scouser, Posh Bird, Upper-Class Bloke, Working Man, Chav, Essex Girl, West Country Yokel etc etc etc...

Quote
Do you also tell "Paki, Wog, Jew and Queer jokes" ?

Yes, should I be Politically Correct and refrain from doing so? If so, should Chris Rock stop telling Nigger jokes? Should Rabbi Jackie Mason stop telling Jewish jokes? Should gays I know stop telling Queer jokes? Have you never told an Irish joke yourself? Or is it that *you* are allowed to because "I'm one of them..."? Have you *never* laughed at *any* stereotype-based joke because they're all offensive, or is it only ones that you find personally offensive?

Quote
Very brave man behind a keyboard Grahamm.   Tell an Irish joke to my face if we ever meet at a Foc-U gathering,  and I'll show you exactly how much of a sense of humour I have about this subject.   

So because you don't like a joke, you're apparently threatening someone with physical violence?

My mistake, you clearly have a balanced personality: A chip on *BOTH* shoulders!

FOR FOC'S SAKE  GRAHMM -   I was only pulling your leg!  :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin

Gotcha  :kiss :kiss :kiss
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mr grimsdale

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Re: A funny to start the week...
« Reply #16 on: 15 October 2011, 10:07:42 pm »
Mickdel.....................think you only have to talk to Gingernutz, (Mr OToole) who is our resident Irishman living in London , now not only is he Irish but believe it or not he is ginger as well.


having met Ging at the last Spring meet I can honestly say that for an Irishman he can give as good as he gets, if not better on some occasions, Paul can tell an Irish joke better than the next guy can, Being  a Scot I get as much stick from Jonny English as you prob do but being honest it dont bother me one bit, as far as i am concerned its all just a bit of banter that goes both ways.


So come to the next meet and we can join up and let rip into Moff and his mob......... :lol



Davie.........yes I am that man.

mickdel

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Re: A funny to start the week...
« Reply #17 on: 15 October 2011, 11:24:31 pm »
Septik - It's a small world.  I'm wearing my Armagh GAA shirt as I type !

Mr Grimsdale - I hope to be able to get along to a few meets next year.  I can't believe I've been a member of this most esteemed Forum for six years now, and really do want to meet more Foccers.  I've met a few so far.    I don't get any pisstaking over here at all.  I wish I did, as I work in an office (when I'm at work,  I've been quite ill for a while now) where nobody speaks to each other unless absolutely necessary,  and pisstaking went out the door years ago.  The only pisstaking banter I get  is when I'm in Ireland.   My sense of humour has been described as "sick and cruel" and I do go over the top sometimes, especially when I'm swooning on super strong painkillers  :eek


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Grahamm

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Re: A funny to start the week...
« Reply #18 on: 16 October 2011, 12:41:29 am »
FOR FOC'S SAKE  GRAHMM -   I was only pulling your leg! 

Hilarious.

Chillum

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Re: A funny to start the week...
« Reply #19 on: 17 October 2011, 01:10:41 pm »
 :rollin now who's having a sense of humour failure? :pokefun

The only comment I disagree with is the 'do you also tell wog/paki jokes etc.' - I wasn't aware that 'Irishman' was a derogatory term.

so, perhaps it should be 'do you also tell wog/pikey jokes as well' ?

Just sayin' :P