The Fairy & The Immigrant [/u][/b] A  beautiful fairy appeared one day to an immigrant claimantoutside the Social Security Offices. 'My good man,' the fairy said,'I've been told to grant you three wishes,since you’ve just arrived in England with your wife and seven children.'The man told the fairy:'Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe with a lot of gold in them.' The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and  -- PING !!!He had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two more wishes to go'. The refugee claimant now got bolder. 'I need a big house with a three car garage in Birmingham with eight bedrooms for my familyand the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in my country.I want to bring them all over here. PING ! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage,a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, and a sparkling swimming pool and a BMW,full of his nephews playing their music.'One more wish left for you', said the fairy, waving her wand.  I want to be English with English clothes instead of rags, and shawl  and I want to have white skin like the English.'PING ! -  The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans from ASDA,a dirty Primark T-shirt and a greasy baseball cap.  He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon. 'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed.  'Where is my new house? Where’s my Visa Gold Card?'The fairy said'Tough luck. Now that you are English,you're entitled tosweet f***  all like the rest of  us”.And she disappeared [/t][/t][/t]

An hour ago my wife says to me I am going to bed for an hour, fancy joining me!!!!
So like a flash we are between the sheets!!!
5 minutes later I am asked what the fuck do you think you are doing!!!
I just do not understand women, 

A friend of mine just started his own business in Afghanistan. He is making his own land mines that look like prayer mats.
It's doing well.
he says Prophets are going through the roof.

No offence intended to anyone who may have served out there.

peejay said Oh come on............... there has to be someone older than me on this forum.
 
I962 197cc James Captain, round the block clock and anti-clockwise, 100 yds. at walking pace feet on the rests & an emergency stop. Passed OK
 
ATB YFM

Another young buck, 1964, think it was on my Dads James Cadet 150cc just as above Passed OK, next bike was a Tiger 90 350cc.

I just ordered a 10 speed chain for my Cannondale from Ribblecycles Cycles but, it turns out, I've a 9 speed block. Ribblecycles proved proper unhelpful and refused to amend the order, despite contacting them barely 30 minutes after placing it online.
Question: will a 10 speed chain fit a 9 speed block ok?
S

Did you order it online? if so as you did not actually view the item in the shop threaten them with the office of fair trading, as you are within your rights to cancel the order especially seeing as they will not be out of pocket re post and packing etc!

At the funeral of a traffic warden the coffin was being lowered into the grave when a knocking was heard from within.  A muffled voice pleaded, "Let me out, I'm not dead!"
The vicar replied, "Sorry Pal, but I've already done the paperwork". 
From another forum
Lew

Alps or mid-German in three days? Are you pushing the bike there?

How about getting a friendly foccer near London/dover to store a bike for you? It's only a days ride down to the alps/mid Germany from there and you avoid all the crap that goes with the storage in Europe.

As it appears the lad lives in N Ireland , the fastest crossing is Larne to Carnryan in Scotland 1hr 30 mins and then a 500 mile track down through the UK, another 1 hr 20 min Dover /Calais ferry and if he does that in a oner on the road time is likely to be min 13 hours. Reckon I would be feeling a bit tired after that, certainly a numb bum and bored shitless mile munching down the motorway. Your suggestion friendly foccer in Dover area has a lot going for it. But a bit confused with the cheap flights bit in earlier post. Touring Eastern/Central Europe you are still looking at summer time late spring to be touring over there as come mid September it is going to cool rapidly, speaking from experience here as I know how bloody cold it gets in SW France.
lew

So maybe my jokes are crap. Maybe I do not understand how the forum operates yet.
try this one for size then.
Shetlander walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his cousin is lying in bed reading. The Shetlander says: "This be the cow I spend me nights with when ye've got a headache." His cousin replies: "Ye be daft, beuy! That be a sheep!" The Shetlander replies: "I wasn'a talkin' to ye!"

 

Your insurance as stated is likely to be limited to only so many days a year. If memory serves me right Carole Nash will do longer cover but pretty sure it is not more than 90 days at one stretch.


How would they find out that it is not in the uk? Maybe if it was stolen from where it was stored it might get a bit sticky.
 

To actually think about keeping a bike in central Europe and jumping on a plane when you get cheap flights seems to me personally to be a bit daft, expensive bike /cheap flights?? If I was you I would check out bike rental surely that would be a better option for you?

 
I did check the price of renting a bike its around £130 per day most have limited miles and you have to leave a large security deposit. The bike is only worth 2k and with a bit of searching flights can be obtained for under £100.

I have a solution for you. As I live in Spain all year round and I am only 50 mins from Alicante airport . I can offer you undercover parking , keep the bike on an optimate, Do airport runs etc! Show you the best roads in the area. Bike storage €30.00 a month, airport service €60.00 return
I have a one bedroomed apartment I rent out €150.00 a week. We have a 8x4 mtr swimming pool.
We live in Northern Costa Blanca between Caple and Moraira.
If interested send me a PM. and anyone else interested.
Lew

Insurance and tax would not be a problem as i would insure it for 12 months to my home address and just tax it and sorn it as normal as well.
 
The only problem i see is the MOT if there was only some way to get around it.

Your insurance as stated is likely to be limited to only so many days a year. If memory serves me right Carole Nash will do longer cover but pretty sure it is not more than 90 days at one stretch.
I moved out to live in Spain earlier this year and brought my Z100SX with me. Wish I had done my home work first, It was going to cost me €670.00 for insurance and to put it on Spanish plates was in excess of €1000.00.
My way to avoid changing the plates was to ride it back to the UK once a year get it MOT'd and ride back, at over 2000 miles return trip a long way to go for an mot.
In the end I sold the bike to a Brit who is riding it around now and running the risk of getting done. The same guy it turns out has no licence and rides like a man with a death wish. I have recently had the confirmation from the DVLA that I am no longer the keeper of this bike.
I ended up buying a new 2010 unreg Fazer 600 S 2 and having fun on that.
To actually think about keeping a bike in central Europe and jumping on a plane when you get cheap flights seems to me personally to be a bit daft, expensive bike /cheap flights?? If I was you I would check out bike rental surely that would be a better option for you?
I do understand where you are coming from seeing as the weather window in the UK is basically 4 months. Be advised that Central Europe gets bloody cold in the winter as well. I had a place in SW France not far from Carcassonne which is less than an hour from the Mediterrian and come winter time it is bloody cold and stays that way from mid October through to mid April. I now live on the Costa Blanca which in the summer is to bloody warm to ride during the day, I am not one of the idiots who will ride a bike in Tee Shirt , shorts and open toed shoes.
Lew 

Well, not sure if this is the correct place for it or not, but here goes.


Some of my photos from my last trip to Spain (Portugal-Spain-Portugal). 13 days and about 2500 miles. The bike held up better then Us


https://plus.google.com/photos/116634842171941110761/albums/5913936155158192129

Now that is a well loaded up bike. How did you find the soft panniers , I am only used to hard case types. I have a set of oxford soft ones but not toured with them yet.
Some fantastic scenery there, I travelled down through  France and Spain in April this year from NW England to the Costa Blanca North. I enjoyed it numb bum an all
Lew

Can it, Carlos!

Never thought of that, can it?? ummm!!
Before I moved to Spain , I lived on the Wirral and that is like a 20 minute ride to North Wales, I have spent many a happy hour riding around the Welsh country side. Regular run for me was Horseshoe pass stop for a brew at the Ponderosa chew the fat with some of the old farts , I was the young fella in that group and I am 64. Have ridden all over the area and love it, still wet or dry it is a bikers dream.
Lew

Quote from: peterjca on 16 August 2013, 06:18:29 pm

Never understood the attraction of football. Rugby's more my game. Of course, being Scottish, I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than support England in whatever sport (apart from motorcycle racing that is ).

What other sports can combine the speed, strength, fitness and athleticism, while at the same time incorporating style, technique, tactics, fluidity, teamwork, graft, entertainment (or lack of, sometimes thanks to tactics) with the regular shocks of results of underdogs. There are few that combine all that and more and thats the reason its the world game.
[/quote
Agree unless you are a Chelsea fan that is.