Date: 30-03-17  Time: 17:41 PM

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Topics - lew600fazer

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1
General / An english man & a scotsman etc
« on: 25 March 2017, 12:38:45 AM »
An English man , a Scotsman and an Irishman want to go to the Olympic games but don't have tickets. As they are walking to the venue they pass a building site.
The Englishman spots a scaffolding pole picks it up and goes to entrance , He says George pole vault and they let him in. The Scotsman sees a grating  and says Jimmy discus, the Irishman sees a roll of barbed wire and says Shemaus, fencing

2
Events, Meets, Ride outs etc / SW France to Northern Costa Blanca
« on: 19 March 2017, 08:00:51 PM »

Just back from a 10 day trip from were I live SW France to the Costa Blanca were I used to live. Why did I ever move away from Spain.
Anyway did my best to avoid the Toll roads and Motorways. Broke the run up down and back with an overnight stop in a cheap hostel **star used booking.com €25.00 basic but comfortable and clean. Decent enough bar /restaurant in Monreal del Campo about 100kms south of Zaragoza. Had a bit of a thirst on me so had 6 pints and a large whiskey to take to bed that and my menu del Dia € 24.00.
Had good dry and warm weather all the way down,. Great biking roads N 330 is a cracker s is the N284. Only day it rained was the Monday but seeing as I was having a day away from the bike with my mate did not bother me.
I had a couple of days getting re familiar again with the Bernia Mountains at the back of Benissa and Jalon valley. I love it up there and with the tourist not about one could misbehave.
Came back over the Pyrenees passing through Formigal and Panitcosa ski resorts again weather amazing. The only down side with the MT09 is the fuel tank size at 14 litres it is a pain as if you are giving it some you can be looking for a petrol station every 100 mils or so. This is my 3rd long haul tour in a year. Sw France to N Ireland last April, Sw France to N  Wales in September and this run. Not bad for an old fart at 68.

3
General / Any chefs on here
« on: 25 February 2017, 12:27:01 PM »

Just wondering if I should use this in tonight's meal.
coq au vin ? what do you reckon

4
General / Bit of tweaking today
« on: 19 February 2017, 06:43:19 PM »
I have been playing around with my Tutoro oil feed to see if I can get a more even feed across the chain. Hopefully this will also lead to less throw off onto the back wheel, what you reckon?

5
General / Looks as if Spring isaround the corner
« on: 18 February 2017, 10:46:03 AM »
Yesterday SW France , 5 mins from were I live. Hopefully Spring is just around the corner it was 16 degrees mid afternoon but still gets bloody cold at night. Lovely countryside by me but the roads are crap for biking, covered in mud with the farmers or else gravel. I did find one decent road with some good twisties  so rode the length of it to check it out. Had a blast but Jaysus am I rusty or what, had best get the L Plates out as a guy on a Bergman pushed me all the way lol.

6
General / Stock seat issues
« on: 14 February 2017, 05:50:56 PM »

This is me after 70 miles on the stock seat , anyone suggest a decent upgrade.

7
General / Could this be used by Pizza express deliveries?
« on: 12 February 2017, 11:54:46 AM »
What do you reckon ,for delivering Pizzas?

8
General / Egg on Face
« on: 07 February 2017, 06:12:58 PM »

Shall we say all in the lew600fazer house hold has been strained for sometime now. I came back from the Dechetterie (dump) and my wonderful wife has a face on her like well smacked arse.
She kicks off , I am sick of you getting speeding tickets, from now on I will do the driving. 58kph in a 50 zone 26th January, so €90 fine.
Must admit I have had one or two since I left the UK for Spain and latterly France. So I gets to thinking and asks her check the Calendar was the 26th a Thursday ?  yes she says. well I took a fit of laughing, what's so fucking funny she says. Well you can deal with this one as I was out on my bike on that Thursday, Yes I fucking know you where!!!, Check the ticket dear you were in Bordeaux and it is the car reg number on the ticket not the bike.
It is worth paying the fine because the look on her face was a picture,  :lol

9
General / Made me laugh
« on: 03 February 2017, 09:36:31 AM »
Because of his stupidity and clumsiness, his Reception Class teacher was always yelling at him, "You're driving me crazy, Tyrone!"
 
One day, Tyrone's mother came to school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and that she had never seen such a stupid boy in her entire teaching career.
   
The mother was so shocked at the feedback that she withdrew her son from school, moved out of London and relocated to Birmingham.
 
Twenty-five years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an almost incurable cardiac disease. All the doctors strongly advised her to have open heart surgery, but there was only one surgeon in Britain who could perform the operation and he was located at the Birmingham Clinic. Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation which, was successful.
 
When she came round after surgery she saw a handsome young doctor smiling down at her. She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him  something but quickly died. The doctor was shocked; wondering what could possibly have gone  wrong so suddenly. Then he turned around and saw our friend Tyrone, a cleaner in the Clinic, who had unplugged the life-support equipment in order to connect his vacuum cleaner.

 


 ........ if you thought for one moment that Tyrone had become a heart-surgeon, there is a high likelihood that you voted for Jeremy Corbyn and he believes in fairies as well !!

10
General / Sunny Costa Blanca today
« on: 18 January 2017, 05:04:51 PM »

Well glad I have not booked a week away for some winter sun in Spain this week. But at least they have the gear to handle what ever the weather throws at them.

11
General / MOT regs
« on: 24 December 2016, 11:49:49 PM »
I may be returning to live in the UK in the new year. Question Will I be able to have my bike registered on British plates and will it pass an MOT if the speedometer (Digital readout)is only in KPH. Unlike UK spec bikes which you can change from MPH to KPH at the push of a button EU spec bikes do not have this facility.

12
General / Tractors & Kwackers
« on: 26 November 2016, 09:15:19 AM »

13
Diesels and Lawnmowers (Bike racing n things) / Guy Martin
« on: 22 November 2016, 12:32:44 PM »
I see  Guy Martin has said he is done with the TT now, great rider and competitor and I for one do not blame him for saying he has had enough.
Respect.

14
General / Yet again big business shafts the little people
« on: 18 November 2016, 05:13:36 PM »
© Sky News Screen Grab How VW Scandal Has Hit Trust In Big Car Brands
 Volkswagen (VW) is to cut its workforce by 30,000 over the next five years as it acts to save costs following the diesel emissions scandal.
 The German carmaker said it was committed to no compulsory redundancies under the union deal, with 23,000 of the positions to go at factories in its home market and the rest in North America and Brazil.
 VW said the job losses were "socially acceptable" as it prepared... to relaunch the brand by 2020 - tainted by the rollout of software in 11 million diesel vehicles that was designed to cheat emission testing. SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE???
 SO IS THIS ALSO SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE........Martin Winterkorn, faced with the company's widening crisis over its rigging of emissions tests, announced his resignation as CEO of Volkswagen Group Wednesday. He is likely to leave with a pension valued around $32 million, and possibly with many millions more, depending on what the board decides regarding his severance payment.
 According to the company's most recent annual report, Winterkorn had amassed a pension worth €28.6 million ($32 million) at the end of last year. And despite the scandal enveloping the German auto giant over its admission that it cheated on its diesel emissions data, compensation experts predict he'll receive it. Yet again the common man and woman getting shafted because of some other CEO FUC-UP. Bet if Adolf had still been around this fucker would not be getting €32 million.

15
General / Pissed myself laughing
« on: 17 November 2016, 06:44:23 PM »

My Mrs and I are going our separate ways, we live in separate parts of the house, but have to admit she did have me in stitches today.
I went out shopping this morning and when I came back there was a guy on the roof of the house. He called down to me something in French to which I gave the Gallic Shrug.
I asks her what the guy is doing on the roof, fixing a ridge tile !!!, okay, and I thought no more about it. 10 minutes later this guy is going ballistic. Oh, by now he is shouting in English, What's up with him I asks her.
Turns out he told her there were two tiles needed fixing , so two tiles. She says the robbing bastard said €20 for the first tile, ok ,so now he says he wants €50 for doing the two so I told him to fuck off and have taken his ladder away.
This lad was about 30 maybe 35 and built like a builder. I thought fuck this and pissed off out on the MT09.
Roof looks okay, wife has an ear to ear grin on her face, we agreed €30 for the two, he left two hours ago.

16
General / Grandpa's Eh!!!
« on: 14 November 2016, 05:22:59 PM »

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson.

He has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, biscuits, all sorts of things. The grandad is saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long . . . easy boy."

Another outburst and she hears the Grandad calmly say : "It's okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."

At the checkout the little horror is throwing items out of the trolley. Grandad says again in a controlled voice : "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes, stay cool William."

Very impressed, she goes outside to where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She says :

"It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandad."

"Thanks," says the grandpa. "But I am William. The little ba****d's name is Kevin."

17
General / busted MT09 engine
« on: 05 November 2016, 11:37:51 PM »
This is going to cost a few bob to put right. On the owners own admission he has had the ECU reflashed to enhance performance. So is not going anywhere fast now is it!!! Well fucked.

18
Diesels and Lawnmowers (Bike racing n things) / Jonathan Rea
« on: 02 November 2016, 12:30:34 PM »
Top man Jonathan back to back WSB champion, keep her Lit! :D

19
General / Sunday SW France
« on: 11 October 2016, 09:02:58 AM »
Just a couple of pics from Sunday. (1)These lads certainly were gunning it.
(2)Somewhere in this vineyard there is a bottle with my name on it.
(3)This is one of the better roads near me , sadly for a biker good roads around this region of France are  few and far between.
(4)The weir at a village called Allemans du Dropt , Lot et Garonne SW France.
Great weather on Sunday 20 degrees during the day but cooling down  lot in the evenings now. If any interest will post a few more from around this area.

20
General / Just love the French
« on: 02 October 2016, 07:15:47 PM »
I was in Bordeaux yesterday at my sons place watching Liverpool hammer Swansea ?? well we won.
On the way home roads along the river front was closed as there was a manifestation/protest by bikers.
Must have taken at least 10/15 minutes to pass by. The number of bikers I heard hitting the rev limiter , bloody hell what a racket. I do not know what they were protesting about but I will give it to the French they certainly know how to let the powers that be they are not happy.

21
General / SW France to N Wales and back on an MT09
« on: 02 October 2016, 12:21:31 PM »
Left home in SW France for a meet up with mates from the SX forum in N Wales on the 21st September and got back home on the 29th. Mileage covered 2460,yes did suffer from a numb bum at times. Great craic at the meet. Booked into the Oakely Arms and there cottages near Portmaddoc. Not a bad place but not sure if I would ever stay there again as a group. The cottages are smashing clean and comfortable. What did pee us off though was when we went to eat in the restaurant (15 of us) as we had booked a table one would have thought it would have been laid out for dinning. We were then informed as the bar was busy we would have to wait and then go to the bar to order our food. 15 hungry bikers voiced there opinion on that idea and guess what suddenly found someone to take the food orders.
Thankfully we had excellent weather for the ride out and I also kept dry for my run up to N Wales and again my run back down to France.
One thing I will say, no wonder Europe is full of terrorists, not once did I have to show my passport leaving France, entering Britain (Dover)leaving Britain or entering France again, border controls are a fecking joke.

22
General / funny vid
« on: 12 September 2016, 04:41:05 PM »




GRANDPA GETS AN I PAD
 
 
 
Watch the following short clip that takes less than a minute. In fact it's 32 secs.
 
A daughter is visiting her father and is helping in the kitchen.
 
She asks: " Tell me dad, how are you managing with the new iPad we gave you for your birthday?"
 
This clip is spoken in German but it's totally understandable in any language.
 





23
General / Old FZ1 nearly a goner
« on: 08 September 2016, 04:04:26 PM »
Anyone been reading about or watching the fires that have been going on in Spain? This lot has been going on for nearly a week now. Anyway the lad I sold my old FZ1 to was evacuated from his home and they thought they had lost the lot bike included. Just had a post from him on FB thankfully his home is safe and better still the FZ1 is undamaged Phew close call though. Fires were started by a couple of gobshites for fun. Police have lifted them and knowing the Gaurdia Civil they will be none to gentle on how they handle these wee bastards. Over 100 homes have been lost and the landscape has been devastated.

24
General / What would you do
« on: 04 September 2016, 10:48:32 PM »
Okay this is serious stuff. My Mrs and me have been wed 34 years now, well really 17 years as I spent my working life at sea. I mentioned the fact that mid September I am going on a long weekend from SW France to N Wales to meet up with some mates from the SX forum. She goes ballistic and forbids me to go!!!!!!!
My response is fuck it I am going. Truth be told I want out anyway. For the last 3 years since I retired from the sea all we have done is fucking bitch at each other. Anyone recommend a good divorce lawyer. I am serious I just do not give a fuck anymore.

25
General / Think of France
« on: 15 July 2016, 01:55:47 PM »
! No longer available



I know a few may not care for the France or the French but !!!!!!


My son's mother inlaw and sister inlaw are in Nice for a week. They were there last night with other family members. Thankfully they are safe, sadly a friend with them was not so lucky. Her 13 year old son is among the dead , her 7 year old is in a coma and her 1 year old baby is missing, her husband is also in a coma.  :(

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