Bike Tips 101

[slimwilly]

Do your helmet strap up before embarking on a fast start

[demic77]

When in your back yard taking your bike off the centrestand and putting it on the sidestand to give a bit more clearance to squeeze your trailer past, take the cover off the bike first. Otherwise you will drop it. On your foot. Whilst wearing flip flops.


Don't know why I didn't just take the foccin' bike out the gate first, a short cut being longest most expensive route between two points.


 

[taylor]

when working on your bike on the side of the road with the petrol tank off, check there is no drain underneath to drop the spanners down. done it,

[RobG UK]

For a friend.  When helping to service your bike and you ask what a bolt does, and you get the answer 'FFS don't undo that'. undoing it and dumping half the brand new oil on the floor then stripping the bolt in the rush to do it back up again is not very helpful
 
For the Guys at Coburn and Hughes (long time ago different owners), when servicing my front brakes, please bolt them back on the bike afterwards.
 
And for me, when stipping an engine take the oil out before removing the starter motor, specially if you are in a shed.
 

[RobG UK]

oh and I forgot the best.  When you have your wife as pillion remember to make sure she is actually on the bike before pulling onto the motorway.  Seriously hilarious when a guy comes past with your pillion on his bike, with arms waving and strange noises emanating from it

[ChristoT]

When you see a Mercedes braking sharply in front of you, the cue to brake hard was 5 seconds ago... 

After realising the fuel tap is switched off, it is wise to check that the fuel line is actually connected before turning it back on... saves you being even later for work, and saves dumping at least £5's worth of petrol onto the (thankfully cold) engine!!

[Grahamm]

When you're meeting up with people to lead a group ride, remember to switch the bike off before you get distracted by chatting to people. That way you won't have to bump start the foccer because you've flattened the battery by leaving the headlight on for half an hour!

[richfzs]

oh and I forgot the best.  When you have your wife as pillion remember to make sure she is actually on the bike before pulling onto the motorway.  Seriously hilarious when a guy comes past with your pillion on his bike, with arms waving and strange noises emanating from it

Excellent :-)

Better than getting 5 miles down the road, realising she isn't there, and shitting yourself, wondering when she fell off

[adeejaysdelight]

#9 remember to lift up the side stand before riding off...

Remember to put the side stand down before you get off the bike.


I have done this.


Twice.

[robby boy]

Remember to top up the tank when you switch to reserve.

[mr self destruct]

Make sure the kill switch is on before you blame the alarm.

 


We had a similar thing at work. I finished my shift to find a load of blokes trying to start their bikes, and when I tried to start mine it was dead too.
Turned out someone had flipped the kill switch on every bike in the car park. 

[imax]

Remember to top up the tank when you switch to reserve.

And after you've topped up, switch back from reserve!

[Buzz]

*sigh* here goes.


Remember that the bike is very heavy when stationary and leaned over.  With this in mind remember that if you're waiting on the bike for your wife to get some money from the cash-point with your helmet balanced on the tank and it unexpectedly falls off and into the road, under no circumstances should you lean down to try and reach it without getting off the bike first.  Doing so will render you face down under a bike next to a street full of busy Saturday shoppers with your helmet spinning away into traffic.

[Looney tune]

A friend.


When you stop for fuel at a garage on a Harley and your wife (pillion) puts her feet down to hold the bike up while you get off trying to look cool always make sure she remembers to put her feet down before you get off. Not cool to both be trapped under the same bike with lots of people watching.

[Lawrence]

If it's down, put the side stand up before rolling off the centre stand.  Unless you like having the bike land on your foot, that is.

#1 Don't use polish on your seat unless you have a crazy desire to cling on for dear life at anything above 7.6mph

This was done to my Blackbird before I bought it

[mhowse]

When checking the brake disc's to see if the disc's are hot and your calipers may be sticking, Do Not do this using your Wee Pinky Finger after you have just stopped ...they will be hot you have just stopped..

Been there done it ..Not doing it again ooh Ouch 

[bigralphie]

When you come home after a weekend away don't make a big fuss of your German Shepard while your still sat on the bike
GS nails will go through fuel tank paint like hot butter   

[RobG UK]

For a dog, do not sniff the exhaust pipe when your owner arrives home.  LOL
 

[fazersharp]

When you have changed the oil dont leave it in a bowl for you to stand on the edge and flip the contents over your shins

[bri h]

Before buying a new battery check the kill switch.

[Jdalt]

Undo the lock before trying to ride off.


dumbest-motorcycle-rider-ever.mp4

[Dave48]

Before removing front wheel remember to support base of engine to avoid having to ask neighbour to help lift bike off floor!

[Dead Eye]

If you are going to support the bike on a hydraulic floor jack, make damn sure that it actually works and doesn't drop your bike on the floor after a few unattended hours....

[Red Ceri]

Always have spare jars available for:
 
1) the nuts. bolts and washers you invariably have left over from any work you do on your bike
 
2) the nut that turns up right in the middle of your garage that you dropped two weeks ago and spent 2 hours looking for during a half hour job

[Oldgit]

havearightgoodpissbeforegoinganyfairdistanceonyerbike