Date: 28-03-24  Time: 14:30 pm

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Messages - focced_off

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1
Quote
While this is destroying my character, confidence, plus mental state too, I was thinking about it... I could walk (as alot have said), which would restore my life, however in the process I would permanently shatter my young children's lives, with their Daddy walking out of the door permanently. Which would be selfish of me.
If you can't look after yourself, you ain't gonna be able to look after anybody else. 

And you ain't gonna sort it out on a bike forum.  You need to go and get help. 

And remember you ain't the problem here.  Get help and starting moving towards getting in control of your life, for the sake of yourself, and your kids.

Totally true that (what VNA says above in Bold).

Perhaps I just wanted to reach out. To hear all your words, to hear the reality of what I'm going through, from an outsiders perspective.

I have been humbled plus touched by all your responses, considering the expected persona of a "macho" biking forum. ;)
I will pursue professional help. Perhaps on my own to start, as I wouldn't want my wife to see this decision as another "weakness" to use against me.

Thank you all.  :thumbup

2
Thank you for the additional replies. Also the replies describing similar situations witnessed/you've experienced. I've read every one plus taken alot of accounts into consideration.

At the weekend at one point I sensed she was getting out of control, I left the room and was on the other side of the door (holding it shut). She threw something that went through the glass window in the door, shattering the glass onto me on the other side, cutting my legs in the process. I cleaned myself up, wasn't bad enough to require a hospital visit though. I've taken photos as evidence to support my case!!

While this is destroying my character, confidence, plus mental state too, I was thinking about it... I could walk (as alot have said), which would restore my life, however in the process I would permanently shatter my young children's lives, with their Daddy walking out of the door permanently. Which would be selfish of me.

For their upbringing, I think there is no choice but to stick this out. As has been said, it's not a good environment for them (seeing what's going on), however having both parents in the house is still beneficial - at least until they are in their late teens and heading off to University or moving out, then I can do my own thing.

I have been on the verge of suicide in the past, with the scene set, however it was thinking about my children (at that moment) at home waiting for me to walk back in the door that stopped me carrying it out.

3
Thank you all for taking this seriously. This is just the tip of the iceberg to be honest, I'm on the receiving end of this type of talk frequently - plus I have no doubt she would carry this threat out. It's a form of control and bullying. Infront of our (young) children a lot of the time, so it's often difficult to retaliate.
EDIT: Just last night she threw my new motorcycle Helmet down the stairs, which is now all scratched and scraped up.

To be honest, my bike is my last stronghold. Riding has helped alleviate my anxiety and depression, it's been an escape.
For somebody who apparently doesn't want me to die (by riding my bike) she's got a funny way of showing her concerns.  :o

You do realise this a form of abuse. Not to mention criminal damage.
If the tables were turned and you threatened to smash something up of hers with a hammer how it would be perceived by all and sundry?
Just saying.


Perhaps you should grow a pair and tell her to foc off. :lol

4
Perhaps some of you can relate to this, your wife loathes you riding, plus thinks a motorbike is like satan (or that's where I'll end up).

Forget about the content and enjoyment I get out of ownership, maintaining, plus riding the bike - that is not a part of her rational thinking.
Forget about the fact it is also TRANSPORT, costs much less to run and maintain, also gets me to work much faster. My bike infact helps keep me sane!

In her defence, there has been a couple of "mishaps" during my 'riding career'. However this has not fazed me from riding at all. "Bike Life" innit. :)
It's come down to this: I've been given 1 week to sell the motorbike, or she threatens to attack it with a hammer! Yes she has anger management issues.

It's been fun while it lasted.  :finger  :uhuh  :look


5
FZS600 Fazer / Re: Changing a Tyre yourself ?
« on: 30 May 2018, 12:50:03 pm »
Nice to see I've started an interesting debate on the subject. :think
I don't have any specialist tools that could be used for this job. Also considering how infrequently I'd be needing to replace tyres...

However change from £20 to fit a new tyre (that's provided) plus hopefully a balance/inspection makes it very reasonable, plus the peace of mind.

6
FZS600 Fazer / Re: Changing a Tyre yourself ?
« on: 25 May 2018, 02:37:45 pm »
Think you just questioned and answered yourself  :lol

Well thanks for the reassurance.  ...that I was better to get it done "professionally" :D  . Thinking aloud I suppose. :)
I've never been to a mechanic to change a bike tyre before - how many notes do they normally take for the privilege (£££) ?

7
General / Re: Today's "What Gets My Goat"
« on: 25 May 2018, 01:58:28 pm »
Preposed £2000 extra tax per household to properly fund the NHS when they are giving £15 billion pounds of our hard earned money in foreign aid away every year. It's about time those supposedly running this country looked after there own people first.

Why are they giving it all away to other countries as "foreign aid" when it feels like half the population of those (3rd world) countries are already IN the UK anyway!  :rolleyes

8
FZS600 Fazer / Changing a Tyre yourself ?
« on: 25 May 2018, 01:23:42 pm »
Hello all,

Looking at picking up a new front tyre. Wheel is not currently on the Bike.

Anyone recommend removing existing tyre/fitting a new one myself? Is there an easy way to do this? :)
Or it's too difficult a job without proper tools and taking it to a bike mechanic/garage is preferred?

A consideration, this is a replacement (2nd hand) Wheel that I've picked up, however not used before.
Perhaps it's safer to get a garage to do it so they can check this wheel over, plus ensure its properly balanced.

9
General / Warning - Concerning B&Q !
« on: 16 May 2018, 05:35:13 pm »
some text.
 
 

10
General / Re: Blood biker death
« on: 14 May 2018, 11:18:41 am »
The article mentions nothing about the circumstances of the RTA - just that he was 'working' at the time.

Volunteer blood biker, Superhero, or a weekend biker... is irrelevant. ANOTHER Biker dies following a collision with a car!... says it all.  :thumbdown :biker

I had a car drive into me (almost head-on) like I wasn't even there - the woman driver admitted she didn't even see me coming the other way - on a STRAIGHT road!! Fortunately this happened around a town centre, speeds were < 30mph. Doesn't matter how much HiViz gear you wear, if the car driver isn't paying attention, isn't looking out properly, you are FCUKED as a biker anyway!

11
General / Re: what did you do with your fazer today ?
« on: 14 May 2018, 10:56:31 am »
Billy_Balthorpe - Don't keep us in suspense :lol, so what's the deal with the "minor modifications" ??

Perhaps somewhere to rest your feet (legs forward). Or something to do with maintenance? Look like you've screwed set screws in.

12
FZS600 Fazer / Re: What would you replace your FZS600 with?
« on: 11 May 2018, 10:41:49 pm »
I know space may be an issue but what about just a little 125 for the commute and keep the fazer for the weekend and evenings, In London you can not go any faster on a Fazer than scooter can you ?


I'd recommend the DERBI Terra (Adventure)! Often mistaken as a much bigger (engined) bike, considering its big size (but low seat height).
125cc, however one of the fastest 125cc bikes in the market. Both acceleration and top end. A premium 125 build.

DERBI are a part of the Piaggio group, with reliability living up to expectations. They have a handful of 125cc bike options.

13
FZS600 Fazer / Re: What would you replace your FZS600 with?
« on: 11 May 2018, 03:14:24 pm »
My work colleague has a DRZ400 (BIG SuperMoto) which I quite fancy. Would make a fun commuter too. High, plus great handling. "Youthful" image though/not so refined!
Classic Sports bike that has potential - Kawasaki ZX7R (96 to 03) or a Honda CBR900 RR Fireblade (1992 - 99).
Do also like the Yamaha MT07/09 range - a lot of attitude there, or a big "Adventure" style bike (a grown up SuperMoto). :)
Ohhh, I was also interested in buying a Yamaha Virago or Honda Shadow, cutting the tail off, and turning it into a custom Bobber! Cool but not so practical.

14
General / Re: Tesla driver in wrong seat banned !
« on: 11 May 2018, 03:03:10 pm »
This just creates intrigue    can we have a foc-u pirate station where Focced_off could leap to number1 in the Frankie goes to hollywood style ;)

...either that or just ban me!  :b Well my "submission" was up for about a week before being dropped - so where were you? :)

It's double standards (or just favouritism) as there's ALOT of threads (for example "3 word story") filled with vulgar language frequent sexual references and profanity, yet that doesn't get touched - stays there for months/years. Visible to non-members too, just browsing. Yet my 1 sentence gets jettisoned to Room 101. lol.

There's also the naughty corner section of the site, where you can get away with saying anything.....

Well I will satisfy your intrigue midden, I was merely commenting on an aspect of our Great British "ethnic enrichment" that is only getting worse... [COUGH] ...CORRECTION, becoming ever more noticeable. :) Was making a generalisation. ;)

15
General / Re: Three word story
« on: 10 May 2018, 11:15:12 am »
like "foccers" here...

16
General / Re: Audi style Flowing Indicators
« on: 10 May 2018, 11:11:48 am »

There was LEXUS who "introduced" the clear / "crystal" lense design on their rear light clusters. Alot copied that idea too - so many aftermarket copies spilled onto the market (for all makes).

Now we have LED's taking over incandescent bulbs (as featured in these AUDI flowing indicators), also there's LED headlights. Everything will go LED, more cost effective to produce, small power draw plus footprint, also brighter.

17
General / Re: Audi style Flowing Indicators
« on: 09 May 2018, 10:39:06 am »
It was the EU
1 issue I have with DRL is that most of the time in this country they are too bright as they are set to be seen on a sunny continent and not a dull grey one. Proof being that some cars dip or turn off that side DRL when indicating, in auldi case resulting in an - off drl on  slidy indicate then off that then on drl - its like a disco and more distracting

But that's the aim - to get your attention (whether that's a good thing or not).
Plus that suits AUDI drivers, to be noticed, it gives them identity, some kind of self worth, a STATUS in society.

However you look more closely at the silhouette of most VW and AUDI cars, they are infact VERY simple and actually lack much flair.
The basic silhouette of the VW Golf hasn't really changed in almost its 40yr production. Just more curvy now. But the masses still fall for it.  :z

If VW or AUDI perfected a polished turd and stuck their (VW/AUDI) badge on it, the sheep would still happily snap it up, parting with thousands of £££££.  :lol

18
General / Re: Tesla driver in wrong seat banned !
« on: 08 May 2018, 04:18:11 pm »
focced_off - I have removed your post as it goes OTT

Thanks for addressing me directly. Shame, OTT is debatable, yet just stating what you'd observe in any given city around the country. :thumbup

19
FZS600 Fazer / Re: What have you done to your FZS600 bike today
« on: 04 May 2018, 03:11:58 pm »
I went to pick up the centre stand from the finishers. Found it on eBay last week.Structurally sound, so I had it powder coated.Bought it to replace the old one which was corroded and cracked.

Very shiny and new looking! :)

Could you not have cleaned the ebay one up and spray painted it yourself? It's hardly visible there under the bike anyway.
Unless you are restoring a museum piece... obviously.  :)

20
Your Suggestions and How you can help / Re: page text
« on: 04 May 2018, 02:42:32 pm »
Where do you find the results?

Kim. That really you? Can we chat?  :b  :lol

21
General / Re: K and N Air filter cleaning
« on: 04 May 2018, 02:25:43 pm »
Did a Google search, and found.....erm.....me.  :lol


http://foc-u.co.uk/index.php?topic=17419.0


Now multiply that by 8,843 times, for each one of your fantastic Posts on FOC-U... you my friend are a FOCCING legend !!  :lol

22
General / Re: Handlebar Lock
« on: 04 May 2018, 02:21:48 pm »
I usually wear my chain around my waist like a belt if I know I'm going somewhere that I'll need it. Its not the most comfortable but I prefer that over carrying it in a backpack.
...

In a freak accident that will likely slice you in 2 when it snags something! Nothing should be hung around the body riding a motorcycle at any speeds.
If anything, it gives the thieves something to grab, to pull you off you bike easily.  :whip

23

That's what I was thinking.

Unless you're already pals with them I'd expect the answer to be...' Get orrrf moy laaand!!'.

:lol exactly. They wouldn't be too pleased about the thought of an offroad buggy screaming around their field.

.....suppose you could do it anyway, as they'd be unlikely to catch you in a Tractor. Until you ground it attempting to get across a ditch into the next field - like something that would happen in "Police Interceptors" on TV, where the dumb criminals take to a field in a regular hatchback to "escape" the cops! lol.

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General / Re: Today's "What Gets My Goat"
« on: 04 May 2018, 01:39:01 pm »
Petrol on a hot bike wont light. (30 yrs London fire brigade ) you need a spark. you could throw a bucket of petrol on a hot exhaust and it wont light

Mobile phones also don't cause petrol fumes to ignite. :) I watched a lengthy Mythbusters episode where they had a sealed Perspex case (about 2 metre square) that was FULL of nasty petrol fumes (much greater level than any open air environment of a petrol station forecourt). They tried LOADS of different brand mobile phones inside, switched on, ringing, etc. Nothing will ignite, zero spark! It's all public scaremongery.

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General / Re: Today's "What Gets My Goat"
« on: 04 May 2018, 01:32:24 pm »
A gauntlet of fair weather boys in the petrol station this evening.  Went in the shop just before me and made a predictable, lengthy, and frankly embarrassing scene when asked to remove their helmets.

...

Ironically I was asked recently to remove my helmet walking in to a Sainsbury petrol station, while there was a young woman working there (behind the counter) with her head and neck covered with a muslim head scarf !! One rule for them, another rule for us "TRUE" Brits!  :lol

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