Date: 23-10-19  Time: 14:13 PM

Author Topic: THE TRUTH ! ! !  (Read 633 times)

darrsi

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THE TRUTH ! ! !
« on: 12 October 2019, 06:08:34 AM »
Admit the truth, or even tell a lifetime story that is either too epic or simply has never been erased from your memory, whether it's yours or someone you know, that still raises a chuckle once brought up or mentioned!  :)
More people are born because of alcohol than will ever die from it.

HarryHornby

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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #1 on: 12 October 2019, 07:37:04 AM »
16 years ago I once ran over a badger...............................on my push bike.


I was getting married on the Saturday and on the Thursday before, my mate had asked if I fancied going out around Wye on our mountain bikes, a usual thing for us.  The wife was concerned because she knew we messed about on these rides and there was a chance of coming off and getting injured, ok on a normal day, not good 2 before our wedding.


So, we went out that evening and behaved ourselves.  It was dusk and we were on the road heading back towards the car, we were doing about 20 mph.  I was about 300 yards from the car, I could see it when all of a sudden, with no warning a badger darted out of the hedgerow right in front of me.  There wasn't any time to hit the brakes and I piled square into his/her midriff.  The badger couldn't have timed his/her trip across the road any worse.


I went over the handle bars and luckily fell to the grass on the left rather than the road (which would have resulted in potential injuries that the wife wouldn't have been happy about).


I picked myself up to the sounds of my mate wetting himself with laughter (nice to have a mate who cares, eah?  ha ha) and we went to look at the badger.  It too picked itself up, we kept our distance while it shuffled back towards the woods.


Luckily the only damage to me was a big bruise up the inside of my leg.  The bike didn't do so well.  My front forks were bent, saddle all cut up, handle bars off to a random angle and one of the pedals somewhat squashed.


We commented at the time how terrible it could have been if the same thing had happened on a motorbike.


True story!



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darrsi

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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #2 on: 12 October 2019, 11:43:23 AM »
One that my brother kindly likes to bring up, when the crowd is big enough, is when me, him and my girlfriend at the time back in the early 90's decided to visit Butlins for the day, as we were down that way visiting family anyway and it was only round the corner from their house.
We'd had a look around then decided to go into their swimming pool.
I've never really been a fan of swimming but went along and was then faced with the water chutes which i had never been on before.
Being a complete newbie, i went for the 'beginners' chute, thinking nothing of it.
I wore glasses back then and they were back in the locker so my eyesight was far from sharp from the off.
So they went before me then i followed a bit after, and as i approached the bottom of the slide the water sprayed off of my feet straight into my eyes blinding me then there was silence as i went under the water so now i can't hear or see properly.
In a state of panic, as i had no idea what sort of water i was in, i started flapping about like there was a shark attack thinking i was about to drown in water out of my comfort zone.


Meanwhile, my brother and my girlfriend are standing there and get approached by some 8-10yr old kid who had just gone before me and asked them "What is that man doing in the water?"
They were just as bewildered as him and could only answer "Dunno?" whilst uncomfortably laughing under their breath.


Then i suddenly felt my hand hit the floor, stopped thrashing about, and stood up.......in probably less than 3 feet of water.  :groan


NOW they very comfortably started pissing themselves laughing, and to this day still won't accept my theory that if you're lying down in 40 feet of shallow water it still makes it 40 feet deep.  :look
« Last Edit: 12 October 2019, 11:46:44 AM by darrsi »
More people are born because of alcohol than will ever die from it.

coffee

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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #3 on: 13 October 2019, 12:38:09 AM »
I remember nicking a bike off someone years ago and while I was riding round on it I seen a mate who asked if he could use it to pick his bird up,I lent him it and while he was away the bloke I'd nicked the bike off collared me saying someone had told him I'd nicked his bike,I shit myself 'cause he was a bit of a hard case and said I didn't know what he was on about but I'd just seen Ed Bristol (my mate) on it,when he found him he panned him and also put his windscreen through on his van. I laid low and avoided Ed for some time and nothing came of it but he never spoke to me again and now he's passed,r.i.p. The things you do when your young ay? :o
never look down on anyone unless you're helping them up.

darrsi

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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #4 on: 13 October 2019, 12:19:31 PM »
I remember nicking a bike off someone years ago and while I was riding round on it I seen a mate who asked if he could use it to pick his bird up,I lent him it and while he was away the bloke I'd nicked the bike off collared me saying someone had told him I'd nicked his bike,I shit myself 'cause he was a bit of a hard case and said I didn't know what he was on about but I'd just seen Ed Bristol (my mate) on it,when he found him he panned him and also put his windscreen through on his van. I laid low and avoided Ed for some time and nothing came of it but he never spoke to me again and now he's passed,r.i.p. The things you do when your young ay? :o


 :eek
More people are born because of alcohol than will ever die from it.

YamFazFan

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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #5 on: 13 October 2019, 07:48:54 PM »

The things you do when your young ay? :o


Err no. Speak for yourself. Most of us didn't go around thieving other peoples property :rolleyes
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pilninggas

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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #6 on: 13 October 2019, 08:17:48 PM »
As a teenager a friend and I used to frequently go down to the shore of the Severn Estuary (close to the English side of the Prince of Wales bridge) to kill the time during school holidays. One day we went down and followed the bank along. At one of the Pills (the local name for a creek) we found the leftovers from some civil engineering work including a very large (+2m) empty plywood cable roll. Without even discussing any consequence of our actions, we heaved it to the top of the banking (it was heavy and took quite a lot of effort). We then gave it a big push and watched as it rolled along, assisted by gravity and plopped into the creek, which as this point is muddy, about 2m wide and steep sided, it stopped centrally almost perfectly forming a dam. We wandered off to find mischief elsewhere.
A couple of days later we went back down to the pill- i dont even think we discussed the events from the days before until we saw what was going on. In front of us was a significant workforce working around a mobile crane, who were trying to pull the cable roll out. It must have presented a huge risk to cause potential flooding!
We sat on the bank for a couple of hours watching and chuckling. Eventually they hauled it back out, needless to say it and the rest of the construction detritus were not left there again...

robbo

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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #7 on: 13 October 2019, 09:23:41 PM »
Love the cable drum story :lol :lol :thumbup :thumbup

coffee

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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #8 on: 13 October 2019, 11:18:26 PM »

The things you do when your young ay? :o


Err no. Speak for yourself. Most of us didn't go around thieving other peoples property :rolleyes








No,thank god, the worlds a bad enough place,I make no excuses I was a bad person who didn't give a fuck for anyone only my mother,I don't expect anyone to feel anything but contempt.If it's any consolation I've paid for my wrong doings several times through my life so what goes around comes around. :o
never look down on anyone unless you're helping them up.

Fazerider

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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #9 on: 14 October 2019, 03:56:51 PM »

As a schoolkid many decades ago, my friends and I had a particular fondness for making fireworks. In those days it wasn’t too difficult to obtain small quantities of the necessary ingredients from neighbourhood chemists and we happily experimented making various colours, rocket propellants as well as the usual small bangs.


My family had moved to a house near a factory that made pyrotechnics for military and maritime use… distress flares, parachute flares, Very pistol cartridges, line-throwing rockets and the like. They’d test a percentage of each batch in a field a mile from the production area, which my friends and I found deeply fascinating.
The factory also had possession of another bit of land, a disused and insecure industrial site of sheds and Nissin huts, which they used to store empty drums of various chemicals. Empty was a relative term… we often found quantities left at the bottom that were plenty for our small-scale experiments.


One day we found some red phosphorus. My friends were content with spilling a trail of the powder on the floor of a shed and shuffling through it leaving a weird blue glow as friction ignited the stuff. I decided to see what effect it had when added to a chlorate and sugar mixture.
Normally a thin line of a mixture leading to a dessertspoonful in the open air will give several seconds delay and a gentle flare-up… a small percentage of phosphorus changed this dramatically. The delay was milliseconds and the heap itself combusted fast enough for an audible thump.
As I’d used a cigarette lighter to ignite it my hand was inside the fireball before I could react. I raced to the nearest water, feeling the skin on my fingers shrivelling and cracking as I ran… and dunked them in a decidedly non-sterile puddle. There was hardly any pain as my friends and I surveyed the gory mess of three of my fingers… but it set in a few minutes later as we ran to my home.
 
Thankfully, the damage wasn’t too deep and after cleaning and dressing at the hospital, a dressing down from my parents and an arsecheek full of penicillin, healing only took a couple of months and I was able to grip a pen in time to do quite badly at my O-levels.
Did OK in Chemistry though.  :lol

Grahamm

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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #10 on: 14 October 2019, 06:56:26 PM »
When I was a student, at a friends' firework party, we experimented with making "Two stage" rockets which was actually just two rockets taped together with an extended piece of blue touch paper on one.
The idea was the first rocket would launch, get to height, at which point the second would fire and boost them higher.
Unfortunately someone miscalculated the length of the second rocket's touch paper, so the whole lot launched, got to the first rocket's maximum height, then it tipped over before the second one fired, causing it to dive bomb what was, fortunately, some local fields...! :o

ZiggyCol

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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #11 on: 17 October 2019, 04:16:25 PM »

On the same firework theme . . .


I once attended a friends bonfire/firework party in his field and took responsibility after the fireworks were finished of gathering up all the spent firework rubbish to leave the place tidy. Included in the accumulated trash was the rather large 'box' remains of one of those multi shot type fireworks that fires a large number of individual small rocket type fireworks sequentially. In the dark I failed to notice that the device had not fully 'fired' and a significant number of the individual rockets were still intact. This didn't matter at all until I threw the rubbish on the still burning remains of the bonfire surrounded by a crowd of onlookers. Cruel luck determined that the box landed on its side and began launching rockets horizontally. The crowd were initially startled and then horrified as burning projectiles hurtled towards them from the burning embers.
Thankfully no one was hit and I can look back in amusement at the chaotic scene of people diving for cover and frantically running in all directions. I'm sure for many it was the most memorable bonfire they've ever attended  :)
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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #12 on: 17 October 2019, 09:03:42 PM »
Fireworks - bangers, back in the day the best ones were called 3-2-1. But that was never enough for us so we used to empty 6 - or so of their contents and make our own.   
I don't do rain or threat there of. dry rider only with no shame.

darrsi

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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #13 on: 18 October 2019, 06:32:01 AM »
Fireworks - bangers, back in the day the best ones were called 3-2-1. But that was never enough for us so we used to empty 6 - or so of their contents and make our own.   


Only 3-2-1 i remember was by Ted Rogers  :lol
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BBROWN1664

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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #14 on: 18 October 2019, 09:08:12 AM »
In the village where I grew up, there was a monastery with a long winding driveway where we used to practice riding our motorbikes as 14/15 year olds. Fast forward a couple of years to when we were 17 and had cars, we would get crow scarers from the local gun shop and take a drive down the drive way late at night. Sitting in the car, facing the right way for a quick exit, we would light one and throw it out the car into the flower beds around the place. It was a lot of fun (at the time) watching all the monks come flying out of the building whenever one went off as we raced off up the lane.
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darrsi

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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #15 on: 18 October 2019, 11:32:33 PM »
Kinda get the impression that if Guy Fawkes was around today he'd ride a Fazer  :lol
More people are born because of alcohol than will ever die from it.

fazersharp

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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #16 on: 19 October 2019, 11:34:48 AM »
In the village where I grew up, there was a monastery with a long winding driveway where we used to practice riding our motorbikes as 14/15 year olds. Fast forward a couple of years to when we were 17 and had cars, we would get crow scarers from the local gun shop and take a drive down the drive way late at night. Sitting in the car, facing the right way for a quick exit, we would light one and throw it out the car into the flower beds around the place. It was a lot of fun (at the time) watching all the monks come flying out of the building whenever one went off as we raced off up the lane.
Sounds like you had a bad habit
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YamFazFan

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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #17 on: 19 October 2019, 12:01:49 PM »
Sounds like you had a bad habit
Boom! Boom!
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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #18 on: 19 October 2019, 05:44:58 PM »
Fireworks - bangers, back in the day the best ones were called 3-2-1. But that was never enough for us so we used to empty 6 - or so of their contents and make our own.   


Only 3-2-1 i remember was by Ted Rogers  :lol
Just googled it and they were called 3-2-1-ZERO
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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #19 on: 19 October 2019, 11:43:31 PM »
Back in the 60's I did a bricklaying apprenticeship and one of the company projects was building a new a Youth Centre in Guildford (Haydon Place Youth Centre) it was the first time I came across something call a Spit Gun,.
The Spit Gun could fire hardened steel nails into RSJ's (Rolled Steel Joists) now know as Universal Beams, these guns were used on site to fix wooden battens to the steel beams to facilitate the fixing of cladding.
The nails were propelled by small cartridges and these brass cartridges were colour coded for strength of charge, Red, Green, Blue and Black.
Well being a young lad of course I nicked a few of each of them, well they did make an almighty bang, I now realise that a lot of the almighty bang was from the nail penetrating the steel beam and the beam resounding.


Anyway back home, cartridges in hand I placed a black one on the brick steps that lead up to my back garden, Ball Payne hammer in one hand and 3 inch cut nail in the other I gave the cartridge firing pin an almighty blow and was almost blinded by the flash (I was bending over the cartridge) my ears ringing I felt an incredibly painful stinging/burning on the front of my thumb, I was beside myself with pain and I looked down to see a dark lump under my skin just above the top thumb knuckle.
Now a brass cartridges if not contained within a muzzle of some sort send out red hot bits of shrapnel as it splits, this bit was only the size of a match head but it was red hot and had gone down under my thumb nail and had stopped when it hit my bent thumb joint.


I have come off numerous motorcycles over the years, fallen off ladders and once buzzed my foot with a chain saw but I have never felt pain like that shrapnel burn before, or since.
The remaining cartridges went back to the building site on the Monday morning.
I actually dug the piece of shrapnel out of my swollen Pusey thumb about a week later and the nail came off about a week after that.


Don't fuck with explosives. :'(
 
« Last Edit: 19 October 2019, 11:46:12 PM by tommyardin »

BBROWN1664

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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #20 on: 20 October 2019, 03:50:31 PM »
,.
The Spit Gun could fire hardened steel nails into RSJ's (Rolled Steel Joists) now know as Universal Beams, these guns were used on site to fix wooden battens to the steel beams to facilitate the fixing of cladding.
'(
 

My brother has one of those along with a few cartridges that he found in his flat when he bought it.
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darrsi

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Re: THE TRUTH ! ! !
« Reply #21 on: 21 October 2019, 09:42:01 PM »
Back in the 60's I did a bricklaying apprenticeship and one of the company projects was building a new a Youth Centre in Guildford (Haydon Place Youth Centre) it was the first time I came across something call a Spit Gun,.
The Spit Gun could fire hardened steel nails into RSJ's (Rolled Steel Joists) now know as Universal Beams, these guns were used on site to fix wooden battens to the steel beams to facilitate the fixing of cladding.
The nails were propelled by small cartridges and these brass cartridges were colour coded for strength of charge, Red, Green, Blue and Black.
Well being a young lad of course I nicked a few of each of them, well they did make an almighty bang, I now realise that a lot of the almighty bang was from the nail penetrating the steel beam and the beam resounding.


Anyway back home, cartridges in hand I placed a black one on the brick steps that lead up to my back garden, Ball Payne hammer in one hand and 3 inch cut nail in the other I gave the cartridge firing pin an almighty blow and was almost blinded by the flash (I was bending over the cartridge) my ears ringing I felt an incredibly painful stinging/burning on the front of my thumb, I was beside myself with pain and I looked down to see a dark lump under my skin just above the top thumb knuckle.
Now a brass cartridges if not contained within a muzzle of some sort send out red hot bits of shrapnel as it splits, this bit was only the size of a match head but it was red hot and had gone down under my thumb nail and had stopped when it hit my bent thumb joint.


I have come off numerous motorcycles over the years, fallen off ladders and once buzzed my foot with a chain saw but I have never felt pain like that shrapnel burn before, or since.
The remaining cartridges went back to the building site on the Monday morning.
I actually dug the piece of shrapnel out of my swollen Pusey thumb about a week later and the nail came off about a week after that.


Don't fuck with explosives. :'(


Did a similar thing as a kid with said cartridges that belonged to my brother.
Except i got the shrapnel straight in my kneecap after hitting one with a metal pole to see what would happen....DOH!!!
More people are born because of alcohol than will ever die from it.