Date: 28-03-24  Time: 21:29 pm

Author Topic: prize bull  (Read 850 times)

johnakay

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prize bull
« on: 29 December 2017, 06:05:14 pm »
A man takes his wife to the Cheshire County Show.
They eventually get to the field containing the prize bulls.

They come up to the first bull and his sign stated:
"THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR."

The wife turns to her husband and says:
"He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn a thing or two from him."

They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated:
"THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR."

The wife turns to her husband and says:
"This one mated 150 times last year. That is nearly 3 times a week. You could learn from this one too."

They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said:
"THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR."

The wife's mouth drops open and says:
"WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one."

The man turns to his wife and says:
"Go up and ask if it was 365 times with the same cow."
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Re: prize bull
« Reply #1 on: 01 January 2018, 11:37:40 am »
A race horse breeder is transporting his prize stallion to market and gets caught in a terrible storm. Seeing lights in the distance he heads toward possible safety and comes upon a farmhouse. He throws himself on the mercy of the farmer to give shelter to him and his stallion until the storm passes.
OK says the farmer but my prize mare is in the barn and she is in season so you cannot put your stallion in with her. The breeder says, don't worry he is not the brightest tool in the box, we will just throw a large sheet over your mare and he won't even know she is there.
The storm rages throughout the night and they hear tremendous crashing, bashing and whinnying coming from the barn but figure the horses are just scared by the storm.

In the morning the two owners venture out and are horrified to find the mare has escaped through a hole in the barn. They jump in the farmer's car and head off in search of the lost mare. Eventually they come to a neighbour leaning on his gate and ask him "Have you seen a horse run by with a large sheet over it?"

"No" says the neighbour " but about 20 minutes ago I saw a mare run by with a hanky tucked in its arse"
I used to not give a foc, then I discovered Red Bull and now I don't give a flying foc !!!