Date: 24-05-19  Time: 01:47 AM

Author Topic: Today's "what got your chuckle on"  (Read 4630 times)

YamFazFan

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #25 on: 29 September 2017, 08:42:17 PM »
Blimey it must have been donkeys' years ago! :lol


« Last Edit: 29 September 2017, 08:46:32 PM by YamFazFan »
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Hugh Mungus

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #26 on: 29 September 2017, 08:59:42 PM »
If you leave a gap of 2 seconds nowadays some fool will cut in front of you.

tommyardin

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #27 on: 29 September 2017, 10:10:43 PM »
On a similar theme, does anyone else remember 'Only a fool breaks the two second rule'?.


Or alternatively 'Only a Cnut rams the car in front' that should have been the slogan, people would have remembered that :eek

Wharfe

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #28 on: 29 September 2017, 10:48:43 PM »




Or alternatively 'Only a Cnut rams the car in front' that should have been the slogan, people would have remembered that :eek



THAT made me chuckle...... :lol

Hugh Mungus

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #29 on: 30 September 2017, 06:22:58 AM »
When I'm stuck in a queue of cars doing 35 in a 60 limit I'm usually thing "Who is the cunt at the front?"

celticdog

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #30 on: 30 September 2017, 09:46:25 AM »
A trip to the Zoo is always educational for children


Treat everything in life the way a dog would- if you can't eat it or foc it, forget it.

Grahamm

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #31 on: 30 September 2017, 12:20:53 PM »
Two prawns were swimming around in the sea, one called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.

Finally one day Justin said to Kristian, 'I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten.' A large mysterious cod appeared and said, 'Your wish is granted.' Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.

Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin realized that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam to Kristian's home. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, 'It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.'

Kristian replied, 'No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner.'

Justin cried back 'No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed...
'I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Kristian!'"

tommyardin

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #32 on: 30 September 2017, 04:07:42 PM »

Hey Grahamm,
Love the above joke very, very funny  :lol 


Not so sure about Gorilla Muff  :eek
« Last Edit: 30 September 2017, 04:09:11 PM by tommyardin »

Nemesis

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #33 on: 30 September 2017, 08:09:18 PM »
I go to sea cod every Friday, usually within chips peas white bread and a pot of tea, its a long prawned out process, as for the shark thats how I ride, cos I bite back at carp car drivers :rollin

Nemesis

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #34 on: 30 September 2017, 08:10:29 PM »
Filtering thru 2 miles of traffic :lol

YamFazFan

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #35 on: 30 September 2017, 08:31:49 PM »
On a similar theme, does anyone else remember 'Only a fool breaks the two second rule'?.


Or alternatively 'Only a Cnut rams the car in front' that should have been the slogan, people would have remembered that :eek


 :lol I actually did LOL for real at that! :lol
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YamFazFan

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #36 on: 14 October 2017, 10:52:29 AM »
Danny Baker's Saturday morning show on Radio 5.

The only phone-in show where I actually want to hear peoples stories:lol
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.

Wharfe

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #37 on: 16 October 2017, 09:44:44 PM »
Riding home from work of an evening up the M606 into Bradford and then round the ringroad, without fail meeting some bellend in (usually) a BMW who spots me and takes my presence on a bike as incentive to then drive like a  tw*t, floor it and razz past me at 90+ looking all smug. Which is fine pal, my ego really won't suffer...but you ARE forgetting that I can filter and you can't. See ya.....

maddog04

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #38 on: 16 October 2017, 10:07:00 PM »
yup, filtering

makes me piss my pants as all the goons who've cut me up/undertook me/flew past me....then grind to a halt


see ya mofo's :lol
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celticdog

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #39 on: 22 October 2017, 03:02:29 PM »
A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 50th birthday, so during this party he grabs the microphone and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. 'I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool.

So the party continues with no events in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.
In the pool is a man and he is swimming as hard as he can, and the fins come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going and the sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.
The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, 'I am a man of my word, anything of mine I will give, my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?' the millionaire asks
The guy grabs the microphone and says, 'Why don't we start with the name of the bastard that pushed me in!'
« Last Edit: 22 October 2017, 03:04:49 PM by celticdog »
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fazerscotty

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #40 on: 23 October 2017, 02:01:41 PM »
A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 50th birthday, so during this party he grabs the microphone and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. 'I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool.

So the party continues with no events in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.
In the pool is a man and he is swimming as hard as he can, and the fins come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going and the sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.
The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, 'I am a man of my word, anything of mine I will give, my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?' the millionaire asks
The guy grabs the microphone and says, 'Why don't we start with the name of the bastard that pushed me in!'

 :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

NorthWestern

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #41 on: 22 November 2017, 05:31:08 AM »
Crossing Warrington on the bike while the cars are gridlocked
Intentionally left blank

Frosties

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #42 on: 24 November 2017, 07:13:23 PM »
Filtering again but try this....Next time you see a guy with his arm on the open window of his van (van drivers are best) just give his arm a little stroke as you go by then watch in your mirrors at their reaction - priceless  :lol :lol 
Those are my principles...if you don't like them I have others.

slappy

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #43 on: 24 November 2017, 08:04:06 PM »
Filtering again but try this....Next time you see a guy with his arm on the open window of his van (van drivers are best) just give his arm a little stroke as you go by then watch in your mirrors at their reaction - priceless  :lol :lol


In the present climate you will probably find yourself in court for sexual harassment.

stet

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #44 on: 12 December 2017, 12:07:38 AM »
oops!
« Last Edit: 12 December 2017, 01:59:25 AM by stet »

YamFazFan

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #45 on: 12 December 2017, 08:04:32 AM »
When the aeroplane starts spluttering and conking out in the old movies, why does the pilot start tapping the fuel gauge that's already showing empty??
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.

tommyardin

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #46 on: 12 December 2017, 09:18:09 AM »
Filtering again but try this....Next time you see a guy with his arm on the open window of his van (van drivers are best) just give his arm a little stroke as you go by then watch in your mirrors at their reaction - priceless  :lol :lol
Then watch him get out of his van at the next set of red lights and punch you in the head  :rolleyes

darrsi

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #47 on: 12 December 2017, 10:34:55 AM »
When the aeroplane starts spluttering and conking out in the old movies, why does the pilot start tapping the fuel gauge that's already showing empty??


Could have a faulty gauge, and the plane is suffering carb icing.
Personally i'd be putting my parachute on though 'cos either way it's a serious brown trouser moment.  :lol
More people are born because of alcohol than will ever die from it.

Frosties

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Re: Today's "what got your chuckle on"
« Reply #48 on: 12 December 2017, 10:35:29 AM »
Filtering again but try this....Next time you see a guy with his arm on the open window of his van (van drivers are best) just give his arm a little stroke as you go by then watch in your mirrors at their reaction - priceless  :lol :lol
Then watch him get out of his van at the next set of red lights and punch you in the head  :rolleyes


I can't lie Tommy - had a few do that over the summer especially. You need to time it right  :lol
Those are my principles...if you don't like them I have others.